Cassper Nyovest
Cassper Nyovest
Cassper Nyovest

We have just learnt that red-hot rapper Cassper Nyovest is one of the hardest hit victims of the credit card scam that is currently rocking the Standard Bank!

While the bank has released an official statement saying that there has been no financial loss for customers, reliable sources with the bank told us that Nyovest’s account with their institution which had been brimming with funds to the tune of R5m was one of the accounts cleaned out in the sophisticated and co-ordinated credit card fraud incident.

Our sources said the bank is currently at a loss as to how to handle this Tsunami, seeing as the heinous cyber-crime was committed by boffin hackers from Japan. A senior guy with the Hawks told us that the grim reality is that South Africa has nothing on these hackers as their skill sets are said to very immense and too sophisticated for our Investigations Agencies.

Efforts to get a comment from the bank or the police were fruitless as the two institutions preferred to remain tight-lipped saying blabbering about such a sensitive issue could jeorpadise investigations

Fortunately we managed to get a comment from Cassper. The rapper who sounded devastated and very distraught. He told us that this was his entire lifetime savings account!

” Hebana, I woke up to a series of withdrawal SMS notifications this morning. All my money is gone bra and I don’t know what to do. My lawyers and the bank say they got this and that we may recover something but this is hardly comforting man. I am literally on dololo money”, the heartbroken rapper said. “Eish ,maan, how am I going to pay my bills and maintain my pony tail?”

Though he could not be drawn to comment on how much he had left,the Doc Shebeleza hitmaker said he was just as good as broke and was contemplating disposing of his house and luxury vehicles cars, and move back to his parents.

More to follow on this satire piece…stay tuned

Source: iMzansi Satire


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